What a romance scam is
A romance scam, sometimes called 'pig butchering' (fattening the pig before slaughter), is a long-game fraud where the scammer builds an emotional relationship with the victim over weeks or months before introducing a money-making opportunity, usually a fake crypto investment. The victim invests, sees fake gains in a lookalike trading dashboard, invests more, and eventually loses everything when they try to withdraw.
Australian losses are routinely in the tens of thousands per victim. ScamWatch reported $40M+ in confirmed romance/relationship scam losses in 2024, with the average individual loss at $20,000. The real number is much higher because most victims don't report.
The cover stories
The scammer is almost never who they claim to be. Common covers:
- Oil-rig worker — out of contact for long stretches, can't video call, can't visit.
- Military deployed overseas — same isolation excuse, plus a story about being unable to access their own funds.
- Doctor working in a remote country — Doctors Without Borders is a common claim.
- Crypto trader 'with a system' — wealthy lifestyle photos, claims to have made millions, willing to teach the victim.
The profile photos are stolen from real people. Reverse-image search the photos using Google Images or TinEye before responding to anything financial.
The seven-stage progression
Pig-butchering follows a remarkably consistent script:
- Stage 1. Friendly chat, lots of compliments, gentle interest in the victim's life.
- Stage 2. Brings up a 'great investment opportunity' a relative or colleague taught them.
- Stage 3. Helps the victim set up an account on a fake exchange or 'trading platform' that looks legitimate.
- Stage 4. Small early gains build confidence. The fake dashboard shows 30%+ returns within days.
- Stage 5. The victim invests larger amounts. The 'returns' keep showing on the dashboard.
- Stage 6. When the victim tries to withdraw, the platform demands fees, taxes, or 'unlock payments'. These never end.
- Stage 7. Silence. The platform disappears. The 'partner' disappears. The phone number is no longer in service.
The single best defence
If a stranger DMs you about an investment opportunity, that is the scam. Real traders don't cold-DM strangers on Instagram, WhatsApp, Telegram, or LinkedIn. Real traders have clients who pay fees through regulated channels. They don't recruit by sliding into your DMs.
If you've already invested:
- Stop sending money immediately. The 'unlock fee' or 'withdrawal tax' is part of the same scam.
- Talk to a friend or family member. Romance scams isolate the victim by design. Breaking that isolation is the first step.
- Report it. File at AVA's report form, ScamWatch, and your local police.
- Tell your bank. Recent transfers to crypto exchanges may sometimes be reversible if reported within hours.
You are not stupid. These scams work because they exploit ordinary human trust over months, not minutes.